I didn’t know this. But at the weekend, it was white stick day, celebrating canes. So I will celebrate mine here.
I didn’t want a cane at first. I wasn’t sure. I was managing okay. Sure, I walked into things in the dark sometimes, but it was just part of the package.
But in the last year, that obsidian oblivion has taken more and more from me. And in the darkness is where it grows stronger, consuming the world around me and leaving behind only shadows. It was like missing signals on the train. I knew the world was there, that curbs and pavements and trees lay ahead of me, but my sight couldn’t find them in the dark. I stumbled through winter and autumn, and got lost many times, fell over many times and walked into more walls and lampposts than I can count.
It came to a head in April. I was walking home from wind band one evening, when I slammed into a tree. I mean a proper head on collision with this tree. I got concussion, had blood spilling down my face and only just about made it down the hill. All because my eyes told me the tree wasn’t there.
I guess I was tired of walking into things. And my body was too. I knew lots of people used canes at work, so I asked around and had a lovely meeting with our Technology manager to go into more detail. I got a symbol cane, which folds up, easy to use and carry in bags and pockets, with a torch light attached to it, all from RNIB. There was a plastic attachment that tied them together, but it kept falling off and some magnetic ties I bought off Amazon keep the light in place more firmly.
I had to get used to it. Because it wasn’t a mobility cane, it didn’t come with any training. But I got into the swing of it, practicing how to use it before heading out and about, and it soon felt comfortable. And nowadays, it feels like a part of me, and I walk along happily.
I use it at night, when going places, and I love it. I haven’t walked into anything for months. The light is really bright, and I can see my way forward and am a lot more confident about going out at night. I’ve even bought a second one, partly because I love it so much and partly because I thought I lost it on a night out in Stevenage in June.
I must admit I was a bit worried about people’s reactions to it. I’ve heard horror stories, about society’s reactions to canes, and guide dogs. But I haven’t had any issues with that. In fact, I’ve had cases where people have seen me and my cane and asked if I need help. And friends are fine with it, even joking that it could be my lightsaber.
