Remembrance Day

The thing is, I understand. I learnt about the war, and the holocaust at school and as an adult too. But its too much.

I know that millions of people died. And its too much. To think of all those people that died, the horrors they endured, their pains, the futures they had planned erased, and the multitude of grief on Remembrance Day is too much. Its why I avoid news stories. To think about death and war and gloom overwhelms me. And thats just generally. It really triggers depression and anxiety for me. 

And its far away. I don’t feel connected to these people. Even after reading about their stories. Perhaps if I had been alive, it would be easier. The same with Princess Diana, who died five months after I was born, and yet whose story and death and misery and impact is repeated year on year.

Its not that I don’t want to remember. I just wish we could do it by ourselves. Have a quiet time to reflect, perhaps an hour instead of a whole day. To not have poppies forced down our throats, boxes shaken in faces, to be judged for not wearing one. For all of this exhausts me. November is exhausting enough, with the anxiety anticipation over Christmas, without more added.

I will take time on Friday. But in my own way.

By Sarah

A visually impaired science fiction and fantasy writer who loves music, mythology, and plays the clarinet. Had one short story and eleven flashes published both in print and online. A work in progress, improving my mental health one story at a time.

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