I’ve been playing my clarinet for a long time. Its something I love, and always will.
But in the past few years, I’ve begun losing my sight. And it makes reading sheet music a challenge, that only gets worse. For my eyes can’t make out details, and minims in particular are a nightmare, too thin to spot, or the sheet music comes in tiny print that I have to get made bigger. Or sometimes, even when its dark crochets or semiquavers, my sight will blend the notes together anyway, as its consumed by a cloud of flashing lights and shimmering dots, all part of this condition, and mistake a C for a D.
But recently, I’ve come up with a new way to play music. And it means I’m not stressing about seeing the music. Instead, I play by ear, hearing music.
A lot of my musical practice was based on sound anyway, so it wasn’t a major shift. This is because as a musician you have to listen to what’s around you, hear cues to join in when its your turn, or follow in harmony with the saxophones. The idea first began in a jazz course, where I learned to improvise, listening to the song and telling its story in my own way, unlocking my soul and letting go of fear. At our Christmas concert this year, I lost a piece of music. It was an error in the filing system. Previously, this would have stressed me out. But it was just some jazzy carols, and one thing I have been learning is how to trust myself more. Because I’ve been playing for a long time, and things have always turned out in the end, even if they seem tricky, and have mastered many masterpieces. I realised that I could still play the piece, as I had memorised most of it, and could play by ear, based on what was around me. So that’s what I did. I listened to everyone around me, and followed their lead, improvising when I misheard notes, and enjoyed it a lot more.
Playing by ear is something I’ve taken up a lot more, especially when sight reading. Instead of worrying if I can see the notes, I just play by ear, and it makes the whole experience more enjoyable. Because I’ve come to realise that music, for me, is more about how it sounds and feels, rather than what the notes look like on the page. And no one minds if you make a mistake or two. As long as you’re playing, and having fun, that’s all that matters. And they’re not quite mistakes either. I call them Sarah-isations, for it is only my sight faltering, not my abilities.
Playing by ear is something I want to take into the future, for I still have years yet before this condition progresses. I’ve recently been trying it with some jazz, listening to a background beat and following, just creating, not thinking, and it was like an euphoric ecstasy, pure bliss if I ever knew it.
https://x.com/SarahOa64492096/status/1746556094145585370?s=20
I know this new era of playing by ear will unlock wonder and enhance my performance more than ever before. And above all, it will make me enjoy playing, not stressing about sight. I can’t wait to hear where it will take me.
