Mental Health Awareness Month

So apparently, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I only found out because Headspace told me this morning, when I did their Wake Up sessions.

I have struggled with mental health since about 2012. I struggle with anxiety, insomnia, and depression, or the big three monsters in my mind, as I like to call them.

Some days are better than others. When the insomnia rocks up, it feeds into the others, sowing doubt and spreading negative thoughts, making me question everything about myself and my abilities. On those days, I really struggle. Although, happily, they only crop up about once or twice a month, usually if I forget to collect my sleeping tablets on time. Most days are fine, and I can live the life I want to lead. 

Its a lot better than it used to be. I did this course in January 2021, which completely changed my world, and gave me loads of new mindsets and approaches to things that previously bothered me. I became friends with my monsters, and wrote stories where we talked and communicated with one another. I slowly grew to understand them, and its been less of a war than it used to be, now we can talk things through and reason it all out. This has fuelled some of my stories, with these recurring characters, and I even had one of these published last November.

And now I have this job, and am doing well, I have financial security, so the depression and anxiety around those things has pretty much gone. Sure, I still get anxious at work, but not as much. My work is always praised and recognised, and I am making a difference, which has reduced the depression and self doubt.

I have my ways of managing the monsters, to get me through the day. I have my fidget toys, two bracelets in different colours, which I take everywhere, and really help when I get overstimulated or need to recentre myself. Sometimes I coat these in a grapefruit shower gel, which is another sensory thing which helps when the world gets too much. I do a lot of meditation, with Headspace, and I’ve also found a new journalling app which is super accessible, which helps. I also found a new meditation exercise to the sound of Norse music, which was really good. I listen to a lot of music, with Spotify and YouTube, which helps me focus and concentrate, and distracts my mind. I take headphones and earphones everywhere, to listen to my music and also because it helps when the world gets a bit loud, and helps stop anxiety in shop queues or train stations. Writing also helps me immensely, so I always set aside some time each day to do some, even if its just pieces on here.

Its never going to be perfect. Mental health never really goes away. But with all this, it can be better.